In the time I haven’t updated this blog, I think I’ve built up a crust of inactivity in the brain. I haven’t been journaling much either, I confess. I am a very inconsistent creature, and it became very easy to slowly allow myself to get into the grove of living without really letting my thoughts soak through me like I used to.
Besides my laziness, part of the reason is that learning things became a drag. I learnt them, dropped them, moved on to the next lesson, picked up a new idea or thought, got revved up about that one, then got bored of it because it wasn’t changing me radically like I thought it had/should, so I would abandon that one and move on to the next thing that I think will work. Through each cycle, the burden of knowledge grew heavy on my lap. So I stopped thinking. My mental lethargy stealthily crept up on me like callusses. It started out with what I thought was good understanding… I need to take each day at a time, each problem at a time and not overwhelm myself. The problem was that it appealed to my tendency to give up and get intimidated by difficult tasks.
The belief and craving for radical changes in my character slowly diminished as I failed time after time. All the excitement and joy of learning new things in Scripture joined the dust on my bookshelf. Cynicism and hopelessness took their place. They seemed to go well with the decor of my circumstances, so I let them be. The little failures became excused and condoned, until my heart had developed a crust made up of an over familiarity of “old” knowledge…
“If you abide in Me and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you”
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, fools despise wisdom and instruction.”
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has caused us to be born again to a living hope…”
word salad 